Cold Orzo Salad

After a defeating day of nearly being extirpated by the most horribly behaved high school seniors I've ever encountered, I'm so glad I have cooking and writing to bring me back from such a horrific glance of this "next generation." How depressing...

We had to feed these kids breakfast....my least favorite gig. Once it was over, I got in my car and discovered the bacon-grease stench emitting from my skin, hair, and clothes was enough to make me seriously reconsider my bacon obsession for about 2 minutes. But later that night the bacon-scented steam wafting from the shower was nauseating....let's take that up to about 3 minutes of bacon-obsessed reconsideration. Then there's the scrambled egg smell...not a word in any thesaurus on the planet to describe the odor.

So, I learned quite a few things today but here's just two: 1.) my boss is a woman of steel strength and nerves, a wonderful leader and, 2.) that bacon-grease a moisturizer does not make.

Orzo Pasta Salad

This recipe is only related to the above story because it's what I had for dinner since I was too exhausted to cook. It's delicious, simple, quick, and will feed a ton of people for a beautiful Spring night (or day) get-together. Try it sprinkled with a bit of feta or goat cheese too.

Yield: 6 cups

Serves: 10-12

1 pound good quality orzo pasta

1/4 cup olive oil

2 tsp. garlic pepper seasoning

1 tsp. agave nectar

1 lime, juiced

3 Roma tomatoes, chopped

1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, and chopped

1/4 cup fresh dill, chopped

1/4 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped

1 cup fresh corn kernels (removed from cob and uncooked)

1 tsp. kosher salt

Boil the orzo for 8-10 minutes or until al dente. Rinse with cold water to cool. Place the cooked orzo in a bowl and add the remaining ingredients. Stir to combine and chill for at least 1 hour.

I'm Sick of Ham

We had a ton of leftover roasted chicken breasts yesterday at church. Chicken salad came to mind. I'm done with ham for a while. I feel like Bubba in Forrest Gump describing everything I've done with my leftover Easter ham: ham salad, ham casserole, ham sandwiches, ham soup, ham gumbo, ham kabobs....

My boss usually makes her...rephrase that, makes us (her staff) make chicken salad with pureed chicken (nastiness), halved grapes, celery, mayo, dry ranch dressing mix, and sour cream. It's wildly popular but we are so sick of it that gagging in front of the 60 gallon boiling pot of raw chicken and its alien-yellow gathering foam, has me reeling in head-swaying acts of refusal. I've been trying to ween her off this for years and finally had my shot.

They always think that I "froo-froo-itize" things. If not whirring steaming hot chicken breasts in a robot coupe (industrial food processor) is considered froo-froo, than that's just fine with me cuz my name ain't Bubba (this is said in your best Forrest Gump accent). "Run, For-rest, run!"



Froo-Froo Chicken Salad
Yield: 4 cups

6 bone-in chicken breasts
1 cup good quality mayonnaise
4 green onions, chopped
4 celery ribs, minced
2 large cans mandarin oranges, drained
1 cup toasted almonds (slivered or sliced)
2 Tbsp. Dijon or grain mustard
Salt and pepper, to taste

Season the chicken with salt and pepper and roast in a 375 degree oven for 45 minutes or until cooked through. Cool the chicken, pick the meat off the bones, and chop into 1/2-inch chunks. In a large bowl, mix together the mayonnaise and Dijon. Add the celery, green onions, mandarin oranges, and almonds to the chicken and add some of the mayo-Dijon mix according to how saucy you like it. Season with salt and pepper.